15 Comments

Spot on. The endless decks and meetings plus the politics can be exhausting.

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Super interesting! LinkedIn is where we tend to showcase our highlight reel of impressive titles and promotions, which subconsciously reinforces the idea we need to climb the ladder to be happy, respected, and successful. But of course it’s not all rainbows and the things you raised here lie in the shadows and are important to talk about too. The same paradox applies in our personal lives. Parenting is a good example where Instagram is our highlight reel but there are tons of really challenging parts of parenting that aren’t given enough space or spotlight. Anyway, thanks for sharing and being vulnerable!

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You are so right that parenting falls within the same trap. I can definitely relate.

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This isn't talked about enough. Thanks for raising it.

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I love the "my brain is my product" - so true!

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It is lonely. But the only thing that keeps me bright & happy is some of these direct reportees who still treat me like a human, not as a manager, and we still spend some evenings - whiteboarding, brainstorming & discussing strategies. Also, keeping personal time to yourself - even if it's 2hrs a day - for me that's 6:30-8:30pm - where you just research, give yourself time to think, bounce your thoughts against those lookr reports & give yourself a reality check.

But Elena, reading this on a Friday morning is probably the best thing ever! A silent cheers to you and others in this lonely tribe!

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Thank you very much for writing this post. After 4 years in leadership positions, I can 100% relate with you. We need to speak more about this side of leadership 🧡

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I'm all in with what you wrote. One question, though. Don't you think your titles allowed you to opt into the solopreneur career you are following now?

I was a freelancing engineer before going into product management for many years, and there is a big difference between freelance and advisory.

I wonder what's actually needed for others to see you as an advisor.

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Yea- which is why I recommend getting to leadership roles on the path to career optionality, because they help unlock opportunities that otherwise would not be available

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I'm living this right now and had the same goal of VP by 30. It's crazy how spot on everything you experienced resonates. Looks like I need to dive deeper into exploring solopreneurship and if that could be a good fit. Thanks for linking the article!

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I guess you're right - though this is only the dark side. The bright side also exists, being able to move things forward with a certain lever.

It looks like the dark side is mainly about the activities, not about goals and visions and successes and people interactions.

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You are absolutely right, there are bright spots including strategic decision making, delivering impact, setting culture, etc. But everyone knows that - I wanted to focus on rarely spoken dark parts of the role.

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Elena, I am sure there are a vast number of people who are in the same position as you were. Climbing the ladder because the ladder was the goal. But the ladder is tall enough and arduous enough that you *have* to be confident it's getting you to the right outcome. Appreciate you sharing your experience very vulnerably and transparently.

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Thanks for your reminder of what DIDN'T work for me. I constantly wonder if I should go back to a full time operator role. But the idea of group meetings all day every day keeps me in solopreneurship too! And your own modeling of your health and family time. Priceless to get some of the best of both worlds.

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Thanks for sharing! I'd love to hear your ideas on PM 'career optionality' paths that are financially rewarding and do not include entrepreneurship. I don't need to be swimming in money, but I live in an incredibly expensive city & the PM salaries at my level barely satisfy my basic living expenses.

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